NOAH TODAY - In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah

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NOAH TODAY - In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah

Unread postby Monica Kemp » Sun Oct 02, 2011 8:48 pm

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NOAH TODAY

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In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah,
who was now living in Oregon and said:

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"Once again, the earth has become evil and I see the end of all flesh before me.

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Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

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He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

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Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

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"Noah!," He roared, "I have started the rain! Where is the Ark?"

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"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."

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"I needed a Building Permit."

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"I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector
about the need for a sprinkler system."

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"My neighbors claim that I've violated the
Neighborhood By-Laws by building the Ark in my back garden and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Local Planning Committee for a decision."

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"Then the Local Council and the Electric Company demanded a boat load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.

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I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."

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"Getting the wood was another problem.

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There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls -
but no go!"

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"When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court.

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They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."

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"Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood."

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"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."

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"Immigration are checking the Visa status of most of the people who want to work."

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"The trades unions say I can't use my sons."

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"They insist I have to hire only Union workers with ark-building experience."

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"To make matters worse, the Internal Revenue Service seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

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"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

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Their was a pause in the inquiries.

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The rains became torrential!

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Water fell in wind driven sheets and waves!


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Thunders & Lightening Flashed with profusion!

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The sounds were deafening!

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The crew hung their heads.

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We were all waiting for the worst!

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"Suddenly the skies cleared,
the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky."

Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord.
" The Government beat me to it."



The End!!!

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Monica Kemp
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Re: Noah Today

Unread postby Morontia Madman » Sun Oct 02, 2011 10:20 pm

Class, is there a way to share this on facebook?
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Re: Noah Today

Unread postby admin » Wed Oct 05, 2011 2:08 am

Yes, just copy the URL in the address bar and post it on facebook. Facebook wil ask for a topic icon and place a direct link to this page on the board.
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